The Only Exception
by youronlyexception
Summary: Eli has the bad boy image; Clare is known as an innocent, smart girl. What happens when these two find solace in one another? Eclare, all the way. Chapter ten is up.
1. Chapter One

_Chapter One: I'll never sing of love if it does not exist._

The speakers thumped as the fast-paced guitar, drums, and lyrics ran through them, the driver singing along. It was only a few days into the school year, so a daily pick-me-up was necessary. After making a few turns sharper than he should have and probably driving far too fast in a parking lot, the owner of an elegant black hearse turned down the music to prevent any complaints. Right as he turned the volume knob, he heard a faint crunching from beneath his tires. He immediately stopped the car and got out. A pair of gold-rimmed glasses sat in front of his left rear tire. Picking them up, he looked at the two girls in front of him and said, "I think they're dead."

"It-it's okay. I, uh…" the pale, auburn-haired girl began as he offered her the glasses, their fingers grazing slightly. She became obviously flustered. "I don't need them anymore. Got… laser surgery." He stared into her eyes for a few seconds.

"You have pretty eyes."

"Thanks," she said with a smile. "I'll, uh… see you around?"

"Guess you will." He got back in his car, off to find a parking spot as the girl and her friend walked off, giggling.

Throughout the day, he saw the girl in the halls. She was bright and happy, but not overwhelmingly so. He felt an attraction to her, like the opposite sides of two magnets being pulled together with strong force. Noting how easily flustered she is, he put it from his mind, focusing on what he could do that evening.

She noticed him as the day went on as well. He had this mysterious aura around him that made it seem as if he had a million secrets no one knew. She found herself liking that fact. The matters of the day were more pressing than whether or not he had any secrets and whether or not he would ever tell her any of them, so she turned her attention to school and other obligations.

Days passed; the boy came to find that the girl's name was Clare Edwards, and Clare found out that his name was Eli Goldsworthy. Because Clare was in a juniors' English class, she saw Eli every day. Miss Dawes, after analyzing Clare's writing as unlike previous assignments, paired the two together. The two feigned annoyances, while both felt slight excitement. They become well acquainted after a few months, even though Eli took every chance to tease Clare.

This, reader, is where their story began.


	2. Chapter Two

_Chapter Two: Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul, that love never lasts._

An instant message window popped in front of Clare's English paper, drawing her attention to it. It was Eli, once again, pulling at her heartstrings.

**eli-gold49: **hey there, clare-bear.

**clare-e23: **Oh, stop it, ELIJAH.

**eli-gold49: **no fair. you know you love my nickname!

**clare-e23: **Yea, well, you're the only one who could get away with calling me that.

**eli-gold49:** that's because you love me. :)

**clare-e23: **According to you, Elijah.

**eli-gold49:** right. according to ME and ONLY ME. mhm. ;P

**clare-e23: **What did you want, Eli?

**eli-gold49:** well, I was considering taking morty for a spin. interested in tagging along?

**clare-e23: **I suppose. Where exactly will we be spinning?

**eli-gold49:** not sure yet; we'll find out when we get there, huh? ;)

**clare-e23:** Whatever. When did you want to go?

**eli-gold49: **about now. pick you up in ten?

**clare-e23: **You're so lucky you're you and it's the weekend. You know that?

**eli-gold49:** i know, clare-bear. i know.

_ eli-gold49 has signed off._

Clare felt the smile on her face. She couldn't help it; whenever Eli and she got into conversation, she ended up wearing a stupid grin. Saving the English paper document and logging off, she pushed the chair away from the desk and stood. Nine minutes left to prepare herself for another late-night drive with the boy of her dreams.

x

Eli turned away from his laptop, smirking. He could just imagine how flustered Clare had been for the duration of their chat, and the feeling of being able to do that made his heart beat faster. After calming down, he walked over to his mirror and took a comb from the table under it. A quick sweep through his hair was satisfying; he took down the stairs and waved goodbye to his dad, who was drinking another beer and watching another western. Seven minutes until he saw his girl.

x

Seconds passing seemed like minutes and minutes passing seemed like hours as she though about what tonight's adventure might unfold, her mind wandering to previous outings and to ideas of how they could have happened. Her heart beat so quickly, and then it slowed, but jolted back to going crazy. She distracted herself from the cause of the irregularity by gathering some things in a bag. Her phone, the current book she was reading, her iPod, and her house keys were already there. She added a few more 'just-in-case' items and a change of clothes, remembering the last time they drove around, when Eli thought it would be a good idea to have a water balloon fight in the middle of the night. The clock told her only four more minutes had passed.

x

With the stereo off, he backed out of his driveway, straightening the car and heading down the street. Clare only lived a few minutes away, so he took it upon himself to actually obey the traffic laws. He began singing his current favorite song, humming the instrumental parts. His fingers tapped the steering wheel in rhythm with the music in his head and only stopped when he had to turn. Making a right, he drove down Clare's street, stopping a house away. The clock read 10:49, which meant he still had time. In order to speed up the process, he sent her a text.

x

The bright screen hurt her eyes in the dark room, but her pupils adjusted quickly and she read the text from Eli:

_Im here. Come on slow poke. ;P_

Clare sighed and smiled, putting her phone back in her bag. She opened her door slightly to make sure the light in her parents' room wasn't on. It was off, so she shut and locked her door, making her way as quietly as possible through the window.

"Hey, cutie," he said, opening the passenger door as she approached. She sat down and put her bag at her feet, buckling in.

"Don't patronize me, Elijah. I know I look like crap," she retorted. He rolled his eyes.

"Well, then you're the prettiest crap that I ever did see," he sang with a smirk. She blushed and shook her head.

"Where are we going?" He shrugged as the hearse went back into motion. "Eli, really? Come on, where are we headed?"

"I can sincerely say that I don't know," he enunciated every syllable. "I don't have a plan, Clare-bear. I'm hoping one will hit me before we get too far." She looked at him with wide eyes and pursed lips, obviously annoyed.

"So, you dragged me out of the house at eleven to go nowhere?"

"Darling, calm down. We're not going nowhere. I just don't know where the where is yet." She crossed her arms over her chest. He let his eyes linger longer than he should have at this movement, hoping she wouldn't notice in the darkness of the car.

"Don't think I didn't see that, _darling_," she told him curtly and faced the window. He grinned and choked back a chuckle.

"Don't pretend you aren't flattered," he mumbled.

"Pardon?" She turned back to him. He looked at her like she was crazy.

"I didn't say anything. You know, Clarey, you really should get those voices in your head checked out." She scoffed and rolled her eyes, going back to looking out the window.

The rest of the ride was relatively silent, only muffled movements from Clare and the brushing of the steering wheel against Eli's rough hands. He drove through the city and into the suburbs, wracking his brain for any place they could go. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he could sense she was getting restless and that this might have been a bad idea. A thought dawned on him and he made a quick turn onto a short road with a few houses on one side and a grassy lot on the other. He stopped after driving into the lot at an angle, putting the car into park and turning off the engine. Turning towards Clare, he could see she was plenty alert now.

"You decided to take me to an empty lot?" she asked with furrowed brows. He laughed to himself at the sight.

"Yes, I did. Would you rather go home?"

"Oh, and deal with tension so thick, you could cut it with a knife? Or to work on the English assignment my annoying partner has to review?" she teased with a sly smile. He pretended to be hurt and pouted. "Oh, stop it. Your pouty face isn't going to work on me." He pushed his bottom lip out further, furrowing his brows more. She turned away and said, "Ugh, fine, I'm happy we're here."

"Good," he said with a smile. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, he opened his door and walk around the back of the car, opening the hatch. She watched over the seat as he climbed into the back, setting up a blanket and some pillows. Once finished, he looked up at her and smirked. "Do you want me to open your door, or can I get comfortable?"

"Silly me, I thought guys could still behave like gentlemen," she said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and got out, opening her door. He took it one step further by offering his hand to help her up; she took it and eased her way to standing. Eli stood oddly close to her, his emerald eyes finding some way to look vibrant in the dark. Clare held her breath and moved past him, climbing into the hearse. He climbed in after her, closing the door. "Uh… how are we supposed to get out?"

"Clare-bear, I'm sure we're both little enough to fit over the front seat. One of us can get out and open it at any time," he reassured her, getting comfortable next to her. She still sat up awkwardly on one elbow. "What's wrong?"

"Uh… well, the pillows make it so there's room for a person and a half," she pointed out with raised brows. He couldn't help from smirking. "Elijah! You can't for real be telling me you planned this."

"I plead the fifth."

"Oh, really? Do you know what the fourth amendment is?" Clare asked in her innocent tone of voice, mischief in her eyes. He stared, mesmerized by how sexy that came off to be, and tried to search his brain for what the fourth amendment was.

"I can't say I do. Why?" She wore a smirk of her own.

Sitting up, she leaned over him and said, "Oh, no reason… I just figure, since you don't know it, you can't plead it when I do this!" Her fingers danced at each of his sides. He started flailing and laughing hysterically, begging her to stop. They rolled around the small area, both of them in a fit. "You can't stop me! I'm searching you! I'm trying to see if there's anything I need to seize!"

"I… I… I plead… I plead the fourth! Stop!" He shouted, giggling. She stopped, the laughter dying down. His hands rested at her hips, her legs straddling his waist. She found herself leaning down, as he found himself reaching up. As their noses touched, Clare breathed out his name. He grazed his lips gently against hers, sending shivers down her spine. She leaned forward, getting more involved. Eli tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth. She pulled away and looked at him, resting her hands on his chest. "Is something wrong? Did I do something?" he asked confusedly.

"No, no, I just… Eli, that was the first time we kissed. Are you not a little, I don't know, excited?"

"Well, yea. That's sort of why I wanted to continue," he confirmed, chuckling to lighten the mood. She rolled her eyes at his response.

"Eli, this isn't just a first kiss. We've been flirting for months," she elaborated.

"Clare, these are all things we both know. Now, if you don't mind, I was enjoying how soft your lips are," he remarked, arching his neck towards her. She rolled off of him and lay on her side, propped up on her elbow.

"Eli, I think we should talk."


	3. Chapter Three

_Chapter Three: I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance._

Eli gulped and nodded, his stomach dropping. He tried to keep calm as Clare nodded back. The only time he ever heard those words was when they came from his mouth. Now he knew how his previous lovers felt every time he told them they needed to specifically talk, right before they stared at him blankly, brokenhearted because he told them he had lost interest after a few weeks.

This scared him. He was usually the heartbreaker, not the heartbroken. There of course had been the girls he couldn't charm to be with him, along with ones who broke up with him first, but he always just shook it off. His heart never pounded, his stomach never knotted, his palms never sweated, his eyes never watered, not like now with Clare about to tell him she was no longer interested. For once, he was upset about not being with a girl. He was so sure that she had been okay over the past few months, knowing that something more was going on but not putting any label on it. Apparently, he was wrong.

"Okay, I guess we do. Shoot," he urged. She made a small smile and avoided his eyes; he made an effort to avoid looking anywhere but hers.

"Eli, I… I don't really know how to tell you this, I-I…" she began, chewing on her bottom lip and wringing her fingers. She continued to avert her eyes from him. "I'm really sorry, I-"

"No, Clare, don't apologize. I get it. I waited too long," he interrupted. Propping himself up on his elbows, he caught her eyes with his. "I should have told you from the get-go, Clare, and I'm sorry I didn't. I knew you liked me, but I just… I'm not used to immediately liking someone. Someone immediately liking me has happened a couple times, but I've never instantly been attracted to someone like I have with you. And I just went and messed that up with all the procrastination and mixed signals. I'm really sorry. I guess I'll just take you home now," he finished and started to climb into the front seat. Clare tugged at his elbow, making him sit back down. She stared at him, grinning. "Look, it's okay. I can just take you home."

Rolling her eyes, Clare pushed Eli down and pressed their lips together, moving back to their previous position. This took him by surprise, delaying his response. She maneuvered her mouth against his feverishly and placed his hands on her waist. He began maneuvering back, brushing his fingertips under the hem of her shirt. Making the smallest movements, Clare gave in to her hips' natural inclination to grind into him. Her hands found his hair, her delicate fingers gently messing it. The two stayed intertwined for what seemed like an eternity.

Eli panted in unison with Clare once she pulled away, pecking his lips once more for emphasis. Both of their faces were flushed, and she couldn't help but smile down at him. He smirked back and taunted, "Well, Clare-bear, looks like you know how to get a guy going." She rolled her eyes and returned to the space next to him. "What was that for?"

"Oh, Elijah. And you call me dense," she playfully stated. Lacing her fingers with his, she laughed at his expression of fake hurt. After a quiet moment, she said, "I wasn't going to tell you that I didn't like you anymore. I was going to tell you that I like you a whole lot, and that I didn't want to be kissing you if it only meant something to me."

"If only I could tell you just how much everything about you and us means to me, that would never even cross your mind," he replied.

"That's all I need to know, then. You pretty much told me in your little rant a few minutes ago," she reminded through a giggle.

"Oh, shut up, Clare-bear. It's your fault I've gone all noodle-y."

"Noodle-y? What the heck is that?" Clare asked loudly, laughing.

"You know… noodle-y. You boil noodles and they turn all mushy when they were stiff before," Eli explained.

"Oh, okay. Right. Noodle-y." She gazed at him with admiration, and he returned the favor. "You know, noodles are easy to break," she whispered.

"Yea, well… I've never been broken."

"Until now," she told him, hoping he would agree.

"Yea, but… you're the only one. No one could get past my pre-boil noodle before."

"Well, I'm glad to be the exception," she stated, putting his arm around her shoulders and cuddling into his chest.

"I'm glad you are, too, Clare-bear," he murmured and rested his head in her hair. The couple nestled close together. She fell asleep in no time, her eyes searching behind her lids and her breathing evenly slow. Eli stayed wide-awake, unnerved by what happened. Admitting all of that made him anxious. He couldn't stop himself from thinking that he made a mistake, that he was getting too attached too quickly. Then he thought of how warm Clare's body was next to him; how natural it felt to share a simple, passionate kiss without pushing the limit; how her hair smelled like coconuts and her breath tasted like mint; how much he wanted to be with her for forever. These thoughts pestered him until he gradually lost consciousness.

_

* * *

Reader,_

_I apologize for the shortness of this chapter in comparison to the previous chapter. I suppose this was sort of a filler, because I needed to get on to the next point, but it's still contains very important dialogue/actions. I'll try to make them longer in the future because I know how annoyed I get when I run out of Eclare goodness. :P_

_Thank you for reading and reviewing, if you decide to. I hope you don't mind that I jump over time periods to get to more important things. _

_Sincerely,_

_youronlyexception  
_


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four: I've got a tight grip on reality…**

Clare's eyes opened briefly before they forced themselves shut again. She was extremely tired still and allowed herself to try to slip back into dreaming. To get started again, she thought about the dream she woke from. It was perfect; Eli took her out in Morty, they talked, they kissed, and then they cuddled together. Holding on to that dream, she slowly let herself progress to complete relaxation. The dream had been so vivid: it was as if she could taste Eli on her tongue, feel the warmth of his body touching hers. Her eyes bolted open once the warmth she thought she was imagining moved and sighed, tightening its grip around her shoulders. She looked down and saw a pair of legs and the bottom portion of a torso; tilting her head up, she came face to face with the boy of her dreams.

Eli, still asleep, didn't take notice to Clare's movements. The panic she felt before was replaced by adoration. He looked even more gorgeous as he slept, even slightly edging on angelic. His hair was messy, both from her hands running through it and turning his head in his sleep, and his lips were parted slightly. She moved so his arm was around her waist instead, her upper body on his chest. While she could hardly bear to wake him, she knew she had to.

Just as she was going to shake him awake, his mouth started moving and he breathed out, "Clare… Clare-bear." She smiled to herself and proceeded to stir him.

"Eli… Eli, you have to get up," she whispered, gently tapping his shoulder. "Eli, it's time to get up." Her voice was a little louder. He refused to budge, so she said louder, "Eli, it's time to g-" Clare interrupted herself with a short scream as he rolled onto his side, taking her with him. His eyes opened instantly; he sneered and closed them again. "Well, good morning to you, too, sunshine."

"I'm tired," he mumbled, burying his face in her neck and wrapping his arms around her. She put her hands in his hair, rolling her eyes. "Plus, you're warm and comfortable, so it's hard not to go back to sleep."

"Yea, but wouldn't you rather do other things with me than sleep?" She regretted her wording as soon as she felt his smirk on her collarbone.

"Actually, Clare, I'd be delighted if I could sleep with you, but shouldn't we save that until later in the relationship?"

"I saw that one coming. You know, you sure have a one-track mind, Mr. Goldsworthy," she teased.

"Yea, well, you weren't complaining last night," he returned. "Or were you saving it for now?" he asked, raising his head to look at her. She stole a short kiss and rolled her eyes.

"If I had wanted to complain, you would have heard it long before now."

"That's what I thought," he told her and put his face back in the crook of her neck.

"I can always change my mind, Eli. I could start complaining right now," she warned, trying not to appear completely vulnerable. "I could tell you that your breath was stinky, even if it wasn't, and that your lips are awfully chapped, even though they're not. I could also-" Clare stopped short, forgetting how to breathe. Eli had pressed his lips to her throat, twirling his tongue in small circles as he moved down to her collarbone. She started breathing again, and continued with, "I could also say that, uh… that, uhm… that you… that your, uh…" His teeth started taking small bites at her skin, his tongue occasionally mingling with the nibbling. Her heart raced. She moaned quietly, losing her train of thought. He placed a few butterfly kisses on her neck, making his way up to her face. Their lips met briefly before he pulled away to smile at her. He noted how beautiful she looked, flushed and speechless.

"Could say that my what?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"You are so unfair, you know that?" she stated after a moment, her body calming down.

"I'm not unfair. You just react more than I do," he admitted. She cocked her head, raising one brow. "Clare, do you really think that you don't affect me as much as I affect you? Do you honestly believe that you don't get me hot and bothered like I get you?" She pursed her lips and gave him a sarcastic glare. He laughed, adding, "Oh, come on. You had to notice that I was… reacting. I'm not as new with it, which is why I'm not holding my breath or something."

"Oh, and how not-new-with-it are you?" He realized he had opened a can of worms.

Thinking quickly, he said, "It doesn't matter how much experience I have. I have it, but that doesn't mean it matters or contributes to my experiences now."

"Right. Well, exactly how many girls have you-" He pressed his finger to her mouth. She glared at him, but stopped talking.

"Clare, not even the first girl I kissed had as much of an effect on me as you have an effect on me. That was when I was brand new at everything, didn't know a thing about anything. I'm just better at hiding," Eli explained. She relaxed her face. "That's my girl. Don't worry; I'm completely yours." He felt better about easing her anxiety, but the conflicting thoughts he had before falling asleep started clawing at his mind again. Choosing to ignore them, he asked Clare what she wanted to do.

"I don't even know what time it is." He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed her the time, 6:57 in the morning. "Well, no wonder we're both tired," she concluded.

"Yea, tell me about it. Are you hungry?" he questioned, his stomach rumbling.

She giggled and said, "A little, but I guess you really are. The things you find out with your body pressed against someone else's." He smiled and shook his head.

After their morning exchange, they decided to go out for breakfast. Eli pulled into a secluded parking space in the lot of a small dinner. Clare brought her bag in, telling him she would meet him at the table. She headed for the bathroom, preparing herself to see how disheveled she looked.

The bathroom was tiny and white, with a dirty tile floor and a huge, old school toilet. She put her bag in the sink upon making sure it was dry. With a deep breath in, she looked up at her reflection and was pleasantly surprised by how much she hadn't changed. She had expected more, expected the huge twist in her life to affect her outward appearance. "Still the same old Clare," she mumbled to herself with a small chuckle. She started rifling through her bag, pulling out a comb and combing her waves. It wasn't until she was getting out a stubborn tangle at the end of her hair that she noticed a present Eli left on her neck.

"Oh, crap," she whispered, her brows furrowed. Examining further, she could also see tiny red marks on her left collarbone where his teeth had scraped against her skin too harshly. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out her little make-up bag and found her foundation. "It's okay. It's really not that bad, and… well… with great pleasure comes great pain, right? Stupid boy with his pleasure, such a pain in the ne-" she ranted, stopping short and giggling at herself. "Pain in the neck… ah, punny, Clare, very punny." It only took her a few moments to hide the hickey and red marks, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the bathroom just yet. She would have to go out there and be with him differently than before. Of course, most of their behavior and conversation would be the same, but with this brand new label. This idea made her stomach churn; she decided collecting herself while in privacy would be okay, and changing wouldn't be a bad idea.

x

Eli smiled faintly at the waitress as she walked away. He ordered two sodas and one glass of water, asking for more time for his girlfriend. His girlfriend: the term rang through his head. It both thrilled him and scared him that they were officially exclusive. On one hand, he had this amazing, beautiful, intelligent, funny girl on his arm, ready to give him whatever she could, whom he was willing to do the same for. On the other, he had this aching feeling that he would end up horribly upset with no desire to ever love again. "Whoa, buddy," he muttered to himself. "No need to speak of such things yet." The entire concept was so confusing. Should he take a step back and tell Clare he just wanted to be friends? Should he wait a while and take a step forward, telling Clare he might be in love with her? The decision dangled over his head, both frightening and potentially disastrous.

x

Because she was sure Eli would be wondering what was taking her so long, Clare gathered her belongings and came out of the bathroom, searching the room for which table was theirs. She saw his messy dark brown hair at a seat in the farthest corner of the restaurant. Once she arrived, she took the bench opposite him.

"That took a really long time. Did you fall in?" he taunted.

"Ha-ha. Sorry I needed to make some adjustments. Someone left some marks on my neck, hm, I wonder who that could have been," she teased back, smirking. He laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Guilty as charged. You liked it," he said quietly, grabbing her hand from across the table. She smiled sheepishly and nodded. Butterflies invaded his tummy, and he put his hand back in his lap. Hers remained awkwardly in the middle of the table before she slowly pulled it back, confusion written across her face. "So, Clare, I think we-" Before he could finish his statement, the waitress was back to take their order. He asked for pancakes and eggs; she asked for chocolate chip pancakes.

After the girl left, they started speaking at the same time.

"What were you say-"

"Clare, I think we-"

She blushed and said, "Anyway, go on."

Eli recoiled back into himself and decided against saying what he wanted to. "I was going to say we should share whatever we're having, which lucks out for me. I haven't had chocolate chip in so long." Clare nodded and smiled, rummaging in her purse. She finally pulled out her phone, causing him to remember his.

Alli had sent her a text message about coming over later. She promptly responded that she was at breakfast with Eli and that she would fill her in when she came over. Her mother hadn't tried getting a hold of her, to her surprise. Eli, on the other hand, had a text from his dad about how much he loved him and how protection was always necessary. He knew his dad had been buzzed when he left, so this didn't come as a surprise. He shut his phone and put it back in his pocket as Clare finished up her text.

She set her phone on the table and said, "I really like this. You know, this whole… being here, sharing a morning. I haven't really done that with anyone but family and Alli."

"Neither have I," he stated simply. His sudden coldness, despite how subtle it was, startled Clare. She opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but the waitress came at the same moment with their breakfast. They shared small talk while they ate, Eli taking small bites from Clare's plate as he promised.

The car ride to her house was quiet. She felt something bad about to happen in the pit of her stomach, but she told herself everything was okay and that she was just nervous. Eli pulled in front of her house and put Morty in park. She sat for a second, unsure of what to do.

"Thanks for breakfast," she told him quietly. He nodded, staring ahead of him. "I guess I'll talk to you later?" He looked out his window and pressed his lips together.

"Clare, I've been thinking," he began. Her heart dropped. "I think we should go back to being friends. We got into things too quickly, heat of the moment shit. Maybe we can come back here eventually, but I don't know when."

Tears filled her eyes. She bit her cheeks, trying her hardest not to cry in front of him. Nodding, she opened the passenger door and stepped out, pulling her bag with her.

"Bye, Clare-bear!" he shouted as he rolled down his window. She turned a quarter towards him and mouthed a farewell before running into the house and up to her room. Sitting on her bed, listening to Morty roar to life and drive away, her heart shattered and tears stained her cheeks.

* * *

_Reader,_

_I know you may dislike the course the story is going at this particular point in time, but every fic needs some huge, emotional event, right? I promise I will make it up to you in later chapters, so please don't abandon me now. _

_Thank you for reading and reviewing, if you decide to, and for returning to do so, if you decided to. It means a lot to me, and I love hearing your opinions about what I write. I appreciate every single one of you. I promise to update promptly._

_Sincerely,_

_youronlyexception  
_


	5. Chapter Five

_Chapter Five: We've got to find other ways to make it alone, but keep a straight face._

With sore eyes and a heavy heart, Clare stayed face-down in bed, ignoring the wet spots on her pillow from the on and off crying. She had been so happy last night and this morning. Her entire body had felt so light and lovely, filled with excitement. Now she felt weighed down, unsure of exactly how she was supposed to respond to the sudden retraction of their relationship.

Had he given any warning? Had she not noticed any signs? These questions and many like them plagued her. She felt tears fill her eyes again, a sob caught in her throat. As she prepared herself to start another crying session, her phone vibrated from her bag on the floor, the ringtone starting to blare. Her stomach tensed and she half-hoped it was Eli, half-hoped it wasn't. Checking the caller ID, she pressed the talk button and put the device to her ear. Without having time to clear her throat, she greeted the person on the other line with a shaky, hoarse voice.

"Clare? Are you all right? You're not sick, are you?" Alli asked, concerned. Clare squeezed her eyes shut and furrowed her brows, trying to gather herself.

"No, I'm not sick," she finally said. She didn't know how to word anything else.

"Oh, no. What's wrong? Did something happen with your parents?" Her parents hadn't even crossed her mind; there was no fighting in the house, silence throughout it. She sat up and rested her head on her hand, her elbow on her knee.

"Alli, can I please just tell you later?" Her tone edged on begging. Any more emotions or elaboration of them was too much for her to handle at that moment.

"Did you still want to come over? We could have a movie night, just me and you. Sav's with Peter and my parents are going out tonight." Clare contemplated her options, weighing each one.

She could pretend nothing was wrong and stay at home, probably dealing with her parents' arguing. She could stay in her room for however long and wallow in self-pity and sadness. She could go to Alli's, tell her everything, and deal with all the feelings. She could go to Alli's, tell her nothing, and try to forget. Out of the four, the last two were the most appealing. Deciding that she could tell her if she felt like it and not if she didn't, she agreed to meet Alli at The Dot in twenty minutes.

Her eyes watered again when she took the clothes out of her bag. They smelled of a distinct mixture between Morty and Eli. She shook it off, replacing those items with a new outfit and a pair of pajamas. Placing other necessities in with them, she sat back down on her bed, letting herself cry one more time before she left the house.

x

After putting on her coat and leaving a note on the kitchen table, Clare stepped into the chilly weather. The early November air seemed colder than usual, but the sun was shining brightly. It all seemed too okay; once again, she expected physical changes to accompany the ones she felt on the inside. "Stupid," she called herself, slowly making her way to the restaurant.

The ringing of the bell startled her slightly as she opened the door. She searched the room lazily before she saw Alli waving her over. Taking the seat across from her, she set her belongings on the inside of the bench and took her coat off. She felt as if she was only seeing parts of things instead of the whole picture; she blamed the overuse of her eyes. One detail she saw sharply was the amount of concern in Alli's eyes.

"Oh, Clare. You look like death," she finally said after a long silence. Clare hadn't even looked in a mirror before she left, something she would normally do, even briefly, just to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary. She shrugged her shoulders, too tired to care too much. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?" Her eyes started to water again at the thought of everything, so she shook her head no. Alli said she understood; Clare mustered a small smile of appreciation. "Well… I ordered a dessert to share, if that's okay." She felt her heart get a little lighter.

"Thanks, Al. I don't know what I'd do without you," she said softly, crossing her legs and resting her head in her hands to get more comfortable.

"It's no problem, Clare. You're my best friend, so of course I'm gonna be here for you." Peter arrived with their sundae, and Alli picked up her spoon, handing the other to her friend. She took it and dragged it around in the ice cream, taking a small amount in her mouth occasionally.

Once the dish was empty, Alli whined, "Ugh, Clare! Why did you let me eat so much? My tummy hurts so bad." Clare just smiled to herself.

"Well, I couldn't really stop you. You pretty much inhaled it!"

"You too could have stopped me. If you ate as ambitiously as I did, you could have!" she laughed out.

"Alli, no one can eat as ambitiously as you can," Clare told her, starting to feel better. She added, "Do you remember that time we made pecan pie at your house, and we were pulling an all nighter? You said you were going to get a snack and came back with a third of the pie!" Alli threw her head back in laughter, Clare joining in. She hadn't even noticed the ringing of the bell until Alli's face turned from excitement to anxiety. Her laughter died down, her smile still remaining, as she turned to see what Alli was looking at. Eli stood at the counter, nonchalantly glancing over at their table. Clare's stomach clenched and her eyes filled with tears again.

"Come on, Clare. We can get going, I just gotta go pay the bill," Alli said, gathering her things. Clare nodded and took up her coat and bag, following her friend to the register. He stood four feet away from her, his body angled towards her direction. She looked up at him, aware of his eyes on her. As she blinked back tears, she told Alli she would meet her outside.

The sun had started setting, turning the air far colder than it was before. Clare hadn't bothered to put her jacket on, nor did she bother to hold back the water streaming down her face. How could he just stand there, knowing that they spent months being seemingly exclusive to one another, after sharing all those things? Especially after sharing those kisses. She walked off with her head down in a hurry towards the corner. Just as she raised her head to watch where she was going, her body collided with someone else's. She fell to the ground along with the other person.

"I'm," Clare started, pausing to sniffle. "Sorry." She stood and picked up her bag and coat, wiping off her tears with her sleeves.

"It's all right," a familiar voice stated. She finally looked over and saw whom she ran into busy brushing himself off. He looked up and saw Clare's blotchy face and immediately showed concern. "Oh, Clare, are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, Adam. I have to go. See you at school," she said, brushing past him. He called back a farewell. Clare continued down the street towards Alli's, stopping only when she heard her best friend's voice calling her name. They finished the walk together.

Upon seeing him again after he managed to tear her heart apart, Clare couldn't find comfort in anything. Alli tried her hardest to cheer her up, but to no avail. After the third comedy was put in and she still couldn't produce so much as a smirk, Clare asked if it was all right if they just went to bed. She laid on the air mattress set up on Alli's floor, thinking about everything and how it all reminded her of Eli. Alli's quiet snores filled the room and created a soft lullaby for Clare to let her exhausted eyes rest.

x

The next day went by quickly. As did the day after that, and the one after that, so on and so forth. They blurred together for Clare, despite her active participation in them. It was as if she was a robot on autopilot; she did everything she needed to do, but no emotion was vested in it. She felt numb to everything. This was the only thing she could find any amount of comfort in knowing.

* * *

_Reader,_

_I think I'm getting hitting a small amount of Writer's Block. I apologize for the low quality found in this chapter, and for any disappointment you may feel. All in due time, things will be back to top notch._

_Thank you for reading and reviewing, if you decide to. I really do appreciate it, and your eagerness to know what happens is so refreshing. For those of you praising my work, thank you very much. I promise it won't be so sorrowful soon, aha._

_Sincerely,_

_youronlyexception  
_


	6. Chapter Six

_Chapter Six: He broke his own heart._

Eli could not believe those words had just come out of his mouth. He couldn't have just told Clare that getting into a relationship with her was 'heat of the moment shit'. Her eyes started watering, despite her efforts to hold back and hide it from him. She nodded and got out, rushing towards her house. Out of habit, Eli rolled down the window and yelled, "Bye, Clare-bear!" She half-turned towards him and attempted to say goodbye, but nothing came out. Disappearing into the house, the door slammed.

He squeezed his eyes shut, bringing his hands up on the steering wheel and resting his forehead on them. "This cannot be happening. Did you really just ruin the relationship you had between you and your best friend? You. Are. Such. A. Fucking. Idiot," he muttered under his breath, pounding his head into his hands with each of the last few words for emphasis. A string of swearing left his throat, mostly in regards to himself, as he started Morty and drove off, unsure exactly of where he wanted to go.

Nothing seemed appealing at the moment: not the park, where he went almost every day with Clare; not The Dot, where he had numerous meals with Clare; not even driving around in Morty sounded fun. Home would be awful; all he would be able to do is sit in his room and wonder what was wrong with him, why he was pushing the only girl who ever truly cared about him away. Then he remembered the drunk text from his dad and realized he better go check up on him.

"I'm home," he shouted as he walked in the house, setting his keys on the table next to the door. The house was silent; Eli took that as a sign of his father passed out. To make sure he was still breathing, he checked in his various passing-out locations. He found him in the master bedroom, curled in a tight ball and chest rising and falling. He shook his head and made his way upstairs.

The smell of cinnamon and vanilla hit his nasal passages extremely hard. He remembered the candles she got him when he complained about his room having a strange odor.

Taking off his jacket, he flung it on his bed and proceeded to take off his shirt and drop it on the floor. He dropped his phone on his desk, unfastened his belt, and shook down his boxers and jeans, following up with sliding off his shoes and socks, into a small heap on the floor. Deciding to do the only thing that could both pass a decent amount of time and make him feel better, he grabbed a towel from the hall closet next to the bathroom and headed for the shower.

x

"Oh… I didn't know you were home, Eli," his father said as he entered the kitchen. "You know, kid, just because I'm your dad doesn't mean you shouldn't cover up," he teased. Eli ignored him and poured a glass of water, leaning against the counter. Silence pursued.

Upon being suddenly overwhelmed by uneasiness, he broke the silence and asked, "Dad… what would you do if there was this girl who really, really cared about you and wanted to be in a relationship with you, but you ruined any chance of that happening?"

The man in a tank top and plaid pajama pants put down the mug of coffee he brought up to his face and thought. He milled over the question in his mind, trying to come up with the best answer possible. Finally, after a few moments, he responded, "Well, do I really, really care about this girl or is she just a friend to me?"

"I… uhm, you don't really know at the moment. She's like your best friend, but sometimes it feels like way more than that."

"And how did I ruin any chance of being with her?"

"Uhm… by opening your big mouth."

"Oh, so I see you got one of my traits, finally," his father said, attempting to lighten the mood. Eli pursed his lips at him and glared. Raising his hands defensively, he continued, "It's not my fault you got almost everything from your mother and that one wretched characteristic from me. Blame genetics, not me."

"Ha-ha," Eli retorted sarcastically. "Just forget it." He put his glass in the sink and started walking towards the stairs.

"No, no, son. Sit down," Mr. Goldsworthy said in a serious tone. His son obliged, taking a chair across the table. "Now… if I wasn't sure about my feelings for this girl, I wouldn't want to upset her by going back and forth between wanting something and not wanting anything. It's unfair." Eli stared at the table for a few moments and nodded, getting up and going to his room to get dressed.

While what his father said was logical and sound, something about it made Eli disagree with it. It's like his father had described the situation in the best method possible and gave a sound solution, but he couldn't come to terms with it. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea. This made his stomach tighten and his pulse race; his room made everything worse as so many reminders of Clare filtered through his brain. Shaking away all the thoughts, he picked up his cell phone and dialed.

"I'm going out, Dad. I'll be back later," Eli told him as he passed him walking to the front door. His father shouted a goodbye, but he was already out the door, starting the hearse up.

x

It took a few minutes to find a decent space after arriving, but he managed to park in a section of street not too far away from the restaurant. The bell jingled as he walked in the door and again as the door closed after he reached the counter. Searching the room for his company, his eyes settled on the tan face of Clare's friend Alli. Her cheerful, laughing face contorted into one of panic when their eyes connected. He noticed her glancing at the space in front of her; Clare's face came into view, and Eli pretended not to stare. Stealing a few glances in their direction, he waited as they got up and walked towards the register. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped.

Clare looked genuinely depressed. The bright aura that usually surrounded her was gone, and her face was sad and pensive. She had been broken by a few simple words uttered from his lips, and he felt like shit. Despite her upset demeanor, she still looked profoundly beautiful to him, and the odd mixture of darkness and radiance kept his eyes on her. She whispered a rushed sentence to Alli and bolted out of the door, barely even glancing at him. He opened his mouth again, this time to call after her, but shut it when her friend stood directly in front of him.

"Look, _Elijah_. I don't know what the hell you did to her, but this is the most miserable I have ever seen her," she began through clenched teeth, wagging a finger at him. "If you so much as disrupt the air around her, I will find you and make sure you wish you had never been so stupid. Got it?" She stared at him with big eyes, waiting for his answer. He nodded. She rolled her eyes and grimaced, shaking her head as she left.

Eli took a seat at a table for two, covering his face with his hands. A new string of swear words rang through his head, and he knew he deserved every single name. Someone tapping his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts, the person sitting in front of him.

"Hey, man. What's up with Clare?" Adam asked, resting his elbows on the table.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I just ran into her outside. She was, like… sobbing really bad. I think it might have been from her falling, though, 'cause we crashed into each other pretty bad," he explained. Eli shook his head no.

"She was crying because of me." Adam looked taken aback.

"Uh… did I miss something?"

Eli nodded and went through the details of his date with Clare, describing the car ride to the lot; their time in the back of Morty briefly; the breakfast they shared; their exchange as he dropped her off, and ending the tale with, "… and then you came in, and now we're here." Adam listened quietly, nodding his head when Eli looked to see if he was following. He flinched at the appropriate parts and sighed as the story finished.

"Man… that sucks. I'm really sorry."

"Yea… I just… okay, I can't even be here right now. Every single thing reminds me of her. This place, my bedroom, Morty, everywhere and everything," Eli admitted, running his hands through his hair.

"Well… she's never been to my house. You could crash there, if you want," Adam offered.

"You sure your mom would be okay with that? Considering… you know," Eli mumbled, referring to Adam's secret.

"She'll probably understand the situation. Since you're cool with Drew, you could probably stay anyway. You'd just have to sleep on the couch." Eli nodded and sent his dad a message about where he'd be.

x

The Torres household was surprisingly organized despite the fact that the parents worked all day almost every day and they had two teenage sons. Drew sat on the couch watching a movie and waved when they walked in, an empty pizza box on the coffee table. Leading the way to the kitchen, Adam opened the fridge and set two soda cans on the counter, following with a container of the leftovers from a previous dinner. Eli found comfort in the unfamiliarity here, even though he'd visited a handful of times before. The familiarity he was avoiding was nowhere to be found, but he still couldn't shake her from his head.

"Uh… dude? Dude!" Eli realized Adam had been talking to him while he had been stuck in his own memories.

"Yea, sorry. What were you saying?"

"Just wanted to know if vegetable casserole was okay. It's the quickest thing to make," Adam said as he pulled out two plates and set the plastic container in the microwave.

"Oh, yea, sure. That's fine," Eli replied, opening his can and taking a sip. Adam continued talking about various things, and Eli went on to half-listen and half-mope. This ended later that night when the two parted ways so that they could get to sleep.

Drew was still on the couch when Eli sat down. Taking notice, he said, "Just a few more minutes; the movie's almost over."

"It's all right. I'm not tired anyhow." Drew nodded and glanced at him a few times before pausing the film.

"You know, you look like shit. No offense."

"I feel like shit," he groaned. Drew laughed softly.

"Alli called me earlier. You messed up, bro." Eli glared at him and Drew held his hands up defensively. "Hey… I just call it like I see it. I know if I messed up with Alli like that… ooh, I would be on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness. But that's just me." He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Then again… if it wasn't right, it wasn't right." He resumed the movie, saying goodnight after it ended.

Eli stared at the ceiling from his position on the couch, too awake to sleep yet too exhausted to do anything else. He mulled over Drew's words, repeating them over and over again. _"If it wasn't right, it wasn't right."_ This was true, much like his father's logical solution, but it still didn't settle with him. Nothing about being with Clare felt wrong. At least, nothing felt wrong enough to push her away like he had. The huge knot in his stomach he usually only felt when he was around her tightened as he thought about everything.

The words of wisdom two of the few trustworthy guys in his life had bestowed upon him followed him everywhere over the next few weeks. He felt his stomach clench tighter and tighter as time went on, especially when she was around, appearing emotionless. Eli couldn't help but want to talk to her, to make everything better, but he didn't know what to do or why he even wanted to do it, so he remained silent and reserved and went about his business.

* * *

_Reader,_

_I know it's still a bit sad, and I'm sorry if I disappoint. I'm slowly getting over the Writer's Block, but the theories surrounding this week's episodes have me a bit flustered, ahaha.  
_

_Thanks for reading and reviewing, if you decide to. Stay tuned for the next few chapters. :)_

_Sincerely,_

_youronlyexception  
_


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven: … but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.**

"Hey… dude? Dude!" Eli was pulled away from his thoughts by Adam's hand waving in front of his face. He had been ranting about Dead Hand and the latest comic in his favorite series, and Eli had paid a fair amount of attention until Clare caught his eye from across the lunchroom. She was wearing a black knit dress with a dark gray cardigan and red plaid button ankle boots. Her hair was slightly curly, as usual, with a bow matching her shoes on the left side and her bangs swooped to the right. The lunch in front of her was small, consisting of an apple, a sandwich, and a juice. She sat across from Alli and Drew, smiling when they looked over at her and frowning the rest of the time. He couldn't help but stare; how she managed to stay beautiful while so upset escaped him.

"She must not be working on anything today," he finally said, looking away when she glanced toward him. Adam looked at him confusedly before turning around and realizing what he was talking about.

"Bro, you got it bad."

Eli glared at him and spat, "What's that supposed to mean?" Adam held his hands up, claiming innocence. "If you're insulting her, I sw-"

"Whoa, I'm not saying anything bad about her. Calm down," he explained. Shaking his head, he continued, "What I am saying is you are in deep." Eli raised his brows and pressed his lips together, giving Adam his signature sarcastic stare. "You can't tell me you don't know."

"You're on crack, that's what I know. What the hell do you mean I'm in deep?" The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

"We gotta get to class. See you later," he waved goodbye and walked off with his backpack. Eli picked up his bag and walked around his table in Clare's direction. She was gathering her things and turned around abruptly just as he walked up to her. Flustered, she blushed and mumbled an apology.

"It's o-" he began as she ran off towards the exit. His heart sank, and he went to class.

x

Clare went to her locker at the end of the day, getting her stuff together quickly in order to avoid coming in contact with Eli again. She was about done when someone came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. Looking to the left, she saw no one and felt another tap on the right. Adam stood beside her, grinning. She rolled her eyes as he tauntingly said, "Gotcha!"

"Yea, you did," she replied quietly, looking over her locker again. He leaned against Eli's locker, which was two down from hers. With a tug at her heart, she turned her focus back to making sure she had everything she needed.

"So, how've you been? We haven't really been talking lately," he questioned quietly, a small smile plastered to his face. Clare remembered everything that happened towards the beginning of the year and felt bad for neglecting their friendship in the following months.

"Uh… all right. You?"

"Same. Chillin' with my man Eli." She cringed, but quickly returned back to appearing calm and nodded. "So, uh… what's going on with you two? I know we haven't really talked, but you guys just… you're polar opposites from the beginning of school, and it's only, like… a bit after the middle of the year now."

Clare didn't quite know how to answer this. Tears prickled her eyes and she fought them back. Didn't Adam know what had happened? Didn't Eli tell him? "Of course not, because he doesn't care," she mumbled to herself.

"What'd you say?" She looked up and blushed.

"Nothing; thinking out loud. Uh… do you know if we have English homework? I was a bit preoccupied that class." Adam realized that she wanted to change the subject; he shrugged it off because he already knew what had happened between the two and was only asking to make conversation. He scrunched up his face in thought, giving a short nod. "Oh… what is it?"

"Oh, wait… no… that was yesterday. Nevermind," Adam corrected himself with a chuckle. Clare mustered a little smile. A few seconds of silence pursued before he finally said, "So, uhm… Clare… I just wanted you to know that-"

"Uh, I have to go. See you Monday," she blurted upon seeing the familiar mess of dark brown hair over other students' shoulders. Turning and rushing off, Adam shouted a farewell after her. He turned around just as Eli reached his locker.

"Oh, hey," he greeted. Eli glared at him in return. "What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem. What was that all about?"

"What was what all about?" Eli rolled his eyes and shuffled through his locker, stuffing his homework in his bag.

"What the fuck do you think? That little discussion you were having with her," he clarified.

"With Clare? That was nothing." He rolled his eyes again. "Honestly, man, it was nothing. You really are just so… ugh, nevermind."

"No, no, what am I? Stupid? Weird? What? Go ahead and say it!" Eli shouted, ignoring the stares from the remaining people in the hall. Adam pressed his lips together, shaking his head. "Go ahead and fucking say it, Adam!"

"You're so freaking in love with her! Gosh, even a blind man would be able to see that, but not dark, mysterious Eli Goldsworthy!" Eli's mouth hung open. Adam added, "And, honestly, it's a little pathetic that it's so obvious yet you keep denying it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he finally responded. He slammed his locker and started storming off. Adam growled in irritation and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back to face him, then pressed him against the lockers beside them.

"You are so stupid! Do you even hear yourself?" Eli tried pushing Adam away, but he persisted and continued, "If I had a great girl like Clare, I would kill to make things right with her, but you're just standing by and letting shit fall apart more than it already has!" Eli was surprised that Adam was being so forceful and harsh.

"What the hell do you know? You're not me!"

"No, I'm not, and thank God for that! Eli, you're an awesome guy, but I don't understand how you can be so mean. You two have chemistry up the wazoo, and you're just letting that slip away. Come on, man." Eli turned his face away from Adam's, clenching his jaw. The knot in his stomach doubled. He knew Adam was right; his body went limp and Adam pulled away, letting him slide to the floor. Taking a seat next to him, Adam quietly said, "What's so wrong with being with her when it's obvious it's so right?" Eli's face snapped up to look him in the eye, remembering the countless times he asked himself this question.

"Look… I don't do this shit. I don't fall in love, and I don't get in long-term relationships. It's not me," he explained. Adam rolled his eyes.

"Maybe not with any other girl, but that's who you are with Clare. From what you've told me before, none of those girls really mattered to you, and that isn't the case with Clare. It's different." Eli nodded before resting his head on the lockers.

"You're right. It is different. I just… I don't want to get involved with her only for it to turn to shit like everything else."

Adam laughed and repeated, "It's different. After seeing you two together and hearing about it, being with Clare is like breathing for you. It's easy and effortless and just happens. The only way it's going to keep spiraling down is if you let it."

"Yea… you're right about everything, but she doesn't even want to talk to me. You should see her in English. She does everything for us just to have it all done, and then ignores me after handing it to me to look over. What a great partnership, right? How the hell am I supposed to get back to where we were?"

"Okay, Clare isn't just any girl, right? I mean… you really like her, right?" Eli nodded, refraining from mentioning the possibility of love. "Then, you gotta work for it. It's not going to happen instantaneously, but it will once you put forth a little effort."

"You sure that'll work?"

"Alli and Drew are together, aren't they? I told him the same thing." Eli smirked and Adam grinned back. "So… you gonna do it?"

"Yea. I'm gonna try to get her back," he decided. Standing, he started to walk away, but stopped and turned back. "You, uh… you wanna help me figure out what I can do? Charm and looks can only get me so far," he stated with a laugh. Adam rolled his eyes and nodded. The two made plans to hang out that weekend to think of ideas.

x

At the Edwards' residence, a completely different conversation was taking place. Clare and Alli sat on her bed, a bowl of popcorn in between them. In an effort to cheer her up, Alli had hung out with Clare at least for a few hours every time she was free, forcing a lot of comedy and sugar down her throat. Occasionally, Clare's head would clear and she would feel slightly better, but then her mind would cloud and she'd feel lonely again. Despite the lack of progress, Alli never gave up.

The movie they had been watching ended, and their talk began. "I just don't think he's worth all this time, Clare," Alli told her. She nodded, slowly chewing a few kernels. "I mean… look at what he's put you through, and then he has the nerve to just pretend it never happened? He's a jerk."

"He's not a jerk," Clare defended. Alli glared at her with raised brows. Sighing, she admitted, "Okay, I guess he has been acting like one the past few weeks. I just… ugh. The Eli I know… well, knew, I guess, was incredibly sweet despite his sarcasm. You don't understand how lovely he was with me."

"I know it was important to you, but it obviously doesn't matter now. You need to move on," Alli pushed. Clare bit the insides of her cheeks and nodded, blinking back more tears. "That's my girl."

Deciding to humor Alli and hopefully convince herself, Clare said, "Yea… you're right, you know. I mean… he obviously doesn't want me, so what's the point in moping around?"

Alli smiled, grabbing Clare's hand and giving it a squeeze. "See? You're stronger than you thought." Rubbing her hands together, she got up and asked, "You wanna watch another movie?" Clare nodded, informing her that she was going to get more popcorn while Alli set the DVD up.

With her parents in bed, Clare quietly went down to the kitchen. She put another bag of Kettle Korn in the microwave and leaned against the counter with her arms wrapped around herself. It was there she finally let herself cry that day, unsure that she would be able to let the boy of her dreams go. _"You need to. You can't wait around forever, hoping he'll change his mind."_ Clare thought, wiping her cheeks. She poured more popcorn in the bowl and crept back up the stairs, pulling herself together for the rest of the night.

* * *

_Reader,_

_So... things are finally getting somewhere, aha. Note that titles in italics are unrelated to each other, and titles in bold are related to each other. You can tell which titles go with which by the first bold with an ellipsis after the lyric and the second bold appearing with an ellipsis before the lyric, if that even makes sense. I also tried to relate the chapters to the titles; hopefully, some of you caught on to that. :)  
_

_Thank you for reading and reviewing, if you decide to. Only a few more chapters to go!_

_Sincerely,_

_youronlyexception.  
_


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight: Up until now, I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness…**

The sound of Alli's soft snores greeted Clare's ears that Monday morning. To her surprise, both sets of parents agreed that Alli could stay the whole weekend. Blinking away the sleep from her eyes, she looked over at the clock on her nightstand. She groaned, realizing it was too early to go to school yet too late to go back to bed. Alli stirred only slightly as she got out of bed, but remained asleep through the squeaking of the door hinges. She walked down each step with ginger footing, heading downstairs to make coffee.

"Morning, honey." Clare jumped in the dark kitchen, clutching her chest and gasping. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you," her mom said softly, taking another sip of her drink. With coffee already made, she poured a cup and put a small amount of cream and sugar in it before taking a seat next to her mother.

"What are you doing up so early?" she asked and watched as Mrs. Edwards pressed her lips into a thin line. This made her stomach squeeze against itself. "Is something wrong?"

"Just the usual. Your father went into work early, so I figured I might as well stay awake after he made such noise getting ready." Clare nodded, ignoring the burning sensation as the beverage slid down her throat. "Honey, I… I don't want you to worry, but I don't know if your father and I are… well, I don't know if we're going to be able to be happy for a while, and I'm afraid that one thing will lead to another. But, Clare, we're just not happy with each other, so please don't think it's your fault, because it's not, and I just want you to-"

Clare interrupted her, "Mom, it's okay. If you can't be happy together, maybe you can be happy apart. It's not like an unhappy relationship is likely to turn into an unhappy friendship. Sometimes, relationships reach a point where it just doesn't work anymore. I understand." Her mother smiled and she smiled back, reaching for her hand.

"We'll see. We've reached rough patches before and made it through, so… hopefully, we can get through this one."

"If it's meant to happen, it will." They sat silently in the dark, holding hands and drinking coffee, until Alli started moving around upstairs. After finishing her cup and putting it in the dishwasher, Clare went back to her room to get ready.

Looking up from her bag, Alli mumbled a quiet greeting. She greeted her back and started looking for something to wear. The two got ready almost completely noiselessly, breaking the stillness to make a silly remark or ask a quick question. Mornings like this kept Clare sane; they reminded her that peace could still be achieved.

x

Eli woke with a start, just as he had at least five other times throughout the night. The knot in his stomach was at its biggest and tightest. He immediately started getting ready, excited for today's agenda.

As he pulled a comb through freshly-washed hair, his phone vibrated in his pocket. The name on the caller ID made him rolls his eyes, but he flipped it open anyway.

"Yea?" he said into the mouthpiece, purposely putting a small amount of irritation in his voice. A scoff came through from the other line.

"Gee, thanks, man. I spend my entire weekend helping you, and you greet me like this. I'm hurt, bro," Adam said, expressing false hurt. They shared a short laugh before Adam continued, "So, you ready for today?"

"Yea," Eli breathed out. "I'm really nervous, though."

"Don't be. Everything will be fine." Eli smiled.

"Thanks a lot, for helping me. And for showing me I was being a stubborn ass."

"It was my pleasure. I'm headed to school, though, so see you later." Eli returned a farewell before closing his phone, putting it back in his pocket, and heading out for Morty.

x

It was hard for Clare to keep her mind off of Eli from the moment she woke up. No matter what was happening or what else she thought of, he would always creep back in her thoughts. Most of the time, the latter happened because something reminded her of him, but he would sometimes appear in her brain out of nowhere, a pleasantly unpleasant surprise. As she finished getting ready, she kept telling herself to forget about him and move on; this proved to be difficult, as anything and everything had him written somewhere on it.

Grabbing two protein bars, the two girls said goodbye to Clare's mother and walked out the door. Attempting to start what she said she would the night before, she forced a smile on her face and talked with Alli like old times. Her heart and stomach felt like they might implode with the pretended happiness, but she ignored it and continued the charade.

"So, uh… how are you and Drew?" Her attempts to make conversation were working so far; the less quiet things were, the less she thought about him.

"Great," Alli replied immediately, grinning. "We are so in tune, it's not even funny. It's like… we complement each other so well. We're opposites, yet we have so much in common. Ugh, I wish I could explain it so you knew what I meant."

"No, no… I know exactly what you mean," Clare stated. Alli looked at her, confused.

"How could you know what I mean? I mean, I didn't explain it well, so…"

After a moment of contemplation, Clare confided, "Well, uh… that's sort of how I felt with Eli. We fit, despite some of our contrary characteristics. Like you said, complementary." Alli bit her lip and knitted her brows together.

"Clare, I didn't mean to bring that up," she apologized. "That was stupid of me, and I'm so sor-"

Shaking her head, Clare interrupted, "No, no, it's fine. That's over. I'm okay now." Alli nodded and continued talking about Drew; Clare half-listened, the other portion of her attention focusing on not falling apart when she was supposed to be put together.

x

His heart was already racing and she hadn't even shown up yet. He leaned against his hearse next to Adam, scanning the parking lot to catch even a glimpse of her. Impatient, he pulled out his cell phone and checked the time again. Only three minutes had passed.

"Okay, calm down. She'll be here," Adam reassured. "Looking at the time every two seconds isn't going to make it go faster. It'll actually make it go slower. And, you know, worst case scenario, she doesn't show up today and you have to try tomorrow. Or… actually… worst case scenario would probably be complete and utter rejection… man, it would suck if she just straight-up told you she wasn't interested, especially since-"

"Adam?" Eli interrupted.

"Yea?"

"Shut up." Adam complied and remained silent, letting Eli get back to his search. Time was running short; he should have just gone to her house like he planned. He remembered Adam telling him that was a bad idea: _"You can't just show up. What if she's not ready and you're there for forever? It'll seem creepy when she walks out and you're there after not talking to her for four months." _Deep down, he knew that was logical, but waiting tolerantly was never his forte. Five more minutes passed; it was getting close to first period. Eli looked over to Adam, disappointment scrawled across his face. "She's not gonna make it, is she?"

"Just be patient, dude. We still have ten minutes."

"That won't leave enough time! We've been waiting for half a fucking hour!" he shouted, turning around and resting his arms on the hood of the car, his forehead pressed against his hands. Adam patted his shoulder and sighed. Standing, frustrated, for a few more moments, Eli finally gave in and went inside to wait by their lockers.

x

Rushing into the school, Clare parted ways with Alli and headed for her locker. The vast majority of the school was still milling about, using up the last few moments of their morning to socialize, so it wasn't surprising to see Eli and Adam talking next to Eli's locker. What was surprising was Eli changing his audience for conversation, Adam leaving the scene.

"Good morning, Clare." Her throat caught and her stomach clenched, but she glanced at him and nodded, going back to getting her things. She heard him laugh and sarcastically say, " 'Good morning, Eli. How are you?' Oh, I'm fine, thanks, and you?"

Deciding to humor him, she replied, "Fine." Propping her bag on her shoulder and tucking her book and binder into the crook of her elbow, she closed her locker and started walking away. He followed, keeping pace with her.

"So, uh… Clare, I want to talk to you. About…" He paused to clear his throat. "About something important. Like… vitally important."

"And you had to wait four months so you could talk to me about something vitally important?" she snapped, turning the corner. He kept following, but slower; her comment broke his stride and he didn't want her to see the hurt in his expression.

"No, it just took four months for me to realize what a jackass I was being," he told her, grasping her elbow before she walked into her classroom. She turned to him, her cheeks slightly flushed at the contact. It had been so long since they touched that the impact it had seemed magnified. "Please, just promise to have lunch with me?" His gorgeous green eyes searched her baby blues, trying to convey the significance of the situation.

She bit her cheeks and looked away, avoiding swooning. She breathed, "I have to work on the yearbook." He gulped, looking crestfallen. His eyes lit up again, excitement in his voice.

"How about after school? I could give you a ride home," he offered. She sighed, evading his gaze. Her skin felt uncomfortably hot. This sensation intensified as his fingers closed around her arms and he took a step towards her. She could feel his breath on her face; swooning involuntarily, she leaned into him. Her head clouded and all she could think about was how full his lips were and how wonderful he smelled.

"Okay," she agreed. Surprise struck his face.

"Okay as in…?" She rolled her eyes, straightening her body.

"Okay as in you can give me a ride home," she verified. His eyes glimmered as he grinned. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders briefly, and she managed to keep from swooning again.

"Yes! You won't regret it, Clare-bear, I promise you!" he exclaimed, running back down the hall. She shook her head and turned into the room, secretly hoping for the day to fly by.

x

As the day came to a close, the two found themselves rushing to their lockers, both eager yet nervous. For Clare, this was a pause in her season of depression; all day, she didn't even have to pretend to smile. For Eli, this was a revelation; it was a beautiful, wonderful, life-changing realization. Despite their eagerness, the anxiety shadowed it, making their walk to his hearse awfully awkward.

He ran ahead of her once they reached Morty and opened the door. She smiled and blushed, getting in. She watched as he practically danced around the front of the car, sliding into the driver's seat and starting the engine. The ride began silently.

"So, uhm… you wanted to talk?" Clare asked, agog to know what he wanted to talk about. He smirked and nodded; she melted in return.

"Yea, yea. Clare… I've been a fool for the past few months. It took me a while to realize that, and I'm sorry I wasted so much time," he began. Her stomach twisted in knots. He continued, "Is it all right if we stop at The Dot?" She nodded, and he made his way to the parking lot, turning the engine off and putting the hearse in park. She smiled to herself as he got out and came to her door, offering a hand to help her out. Taking his hand, she stood and they leaned against the door. "I wanna start over, starting with an early dinner. I was going to ask you earlier, but… well, you know. Anyway… I want to forget everything that happened and just start over. We can go back to being flirtatious and whatnot and work our way up from there. I'll even court you, whatever you want. If you want me to wear more colors, done. Cut my hair? Sure. I'll do it, all if you just ask me to. I can do or be whatever you need."

Clare felt her eyes widen as he spoke, but she couldn't believe that he was saying what she was hearing. She finally came to the conclusion that Eli Goldsworthy had lost his mind, as exhibited when she said, "You're nuts."

He looked at her and laughed, replying, "No, I'm just trying to right my wrongs. I needed to change, obviously, so I'm telling you I will."

"You're assuming that I'd ask for you to change trivial things," she retorted, offended.

"Clare, I'm trying to get you back. Can't you just tell me what I need to do?"

She shook her head, her lips pursed. After a moment, she told him, "Eli, I don't need you to change your wardrobe or your hair or your style or whatever. I don't need to start over, and I don't need you to work old-fashioned methods of wooing on me. The fact that you assumed that, that was the matter really tells me that you don't understand at all." Clare picked her body up from the car and walked off, leaving Eli to pick apart her words.

* * *

_Reader,_

_I hope you enjoy this chapter. It took a while to write, and I like how it turned out._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing, if you decide to. I get so happy when I see that I have a new review. :)_

_Sincerely,_

_youronlyexception  
_


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine: … because none of it was ever worth the risk.**

Clare rolled her eyes and pressed her lips into a line as another instant message from Eli popped up in front of her English assignment. She promptly closed it, refusing to read any of them. It took only a few more minutes for him to send another one. He seemed particularly stubborn tonight. Saving her project, she went back to the IM window and read through it.

**eli-gold49: **Clare, can you please talk to me?

**eli-gold49: **Clare. please?

**eli-gold49:** youve been ignoring me all week. please.

**eli-gold49:** Clare-bear, please.

Her eyes watered. Looking back, it felt slightly surreal. They had switched roles, only Eli was far more persistent than she had been. She never tried talking to him once he broke her heart. The numbness that had replaced everything hadn't let her. Text appeared as she typed it out, a few tears spilling over onto her flushed cheeks.

**clare-e23: **Have you figured anything out yet?

The boy on the other end of the conversation stared at the computer screen, amazed she had actually responded this time. His excitement was quickly replaced by dejectedness as he read the message.

**eli-gold49: **no.

She groaned in irritation. To her, everything seemed so simple. To him, it was beyond confusing.

**clare-e23: **I thought I told you to talk to me when you did. So far, you haven't.

**eli-gold49:** Clare, i cant just sit back and watch whatever we have fall apart

**clare-e23:** Eli, it fell apart when you broke up with me after being together for a day.

His heart ached and his stomach tightened at the reminder. Still, he persisted.

**eli-gold49: **no, clare, it didnt. it went on hiatus, but it was never gone. for either of us, and I know you know that.

Biting her lip, Clare struggled to keep herself from giving in.

**clare-e23: **It doesn't matter if I know it. You still don't understand. Until you do, I have nothing to say.

She ignored his typing and closed her laptop. Clutching her chest, she crawled into bed and tried to keep from sobbing. All she wanted was right in front of her, and she was too scared to accept it. Too scared and too annoyed that he still didn't get why she couldn't give him another chance. On a lonely Friday night, Clare cried herself to sleep for the umpteenth time, too exhausted to change out of her clothes or let down her hair.

x

Eli exhaled, staring at the screen. She had signed off right after making her point, just as she had walked away that last Monday afternoon. He pursed his lips in frustration, turning the computer off and getting up. He paced a few steps back and forth. After pulling his phone from his pocket, he dialed the number in his third speed dial spot.

"Hello?" the familiar voice answered after a few rings.

"Hey. Uh… I, uh… I need your help," he responded. The recipient sighed into his end of the phone, the infamous beginning to so many conversations held between them.

x

His hands gently cupped her face as she held his elbows. Her baby blues gazed into his beautiful sage eyes, their noses grazing each other's. They stood unashamedly pressed together. He gulped and leaned in to fill the gap between them. As his lips left hers and roamed to her neck, she smiled. She felt happy. He pulled away to look at her, and took a breath to speak. When his mouth opened, he started singing. Her entire body vibrated and buzzed to the extremely fast pace of her heartbeat. He repeated what he just sang to her, and she kept buzzing on and off. She stepped away from him, scared by what was happening. Despite the change of expression and what words his lips formed, the singing continued.

Clare's eyes fluttered open. Her cell phone was lighting up in front of her eyes, a phone call coming through. She pressed the talk button and put it to her ear.

"Hello?" she asked groggily.

"Hey, Clare. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Yea, but it's okay. What time is it?" Sun shone through the curtains on her window. She kept her eyes closed, working her way up to keeping them open.

"A little before noon. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to catch some lunch at The Dot? We've been hanging out a little bit lately, but I still miss chilling with you all the time."

She felt guilty. Biting her lip and sitting up, she answered, "Uh… yea, Adam, I'd love to."

"Great! When did you wanna meet up?" he asked excitedly.

Suddenly, she felt anxious. "Uh… I'll meet you in, like, ten. Adam?"

"Yea?"

"This isn't a date, right?" She was chewing on her bottom lip. Adam just laughed.

"Yea, no. Don't worry, Clare, we're just friends."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Good. See you soon," she said.

"Mkay. Bye," he returned and hung up. She put her phone down and got out of bed, changing clothes and pulling a brush through her hair.

After gathering her belongings, Clare made her way downstairs. Her mother sat on the couch in the living room.

"Hey, mom. I'm going to The Dot for lunch."

Mrs. Edwards stood and walked to her purse, digging for her wallet. "You meeting someone?"

"Yea, Adam. Mom, you don't have to give me money. I still have some left over from my allowance," Clare said, rejecting the ten-dollar bill her mom offered her.

She rolled her eyes and said, "I was going to ask you to bring me back a milkshake. Chocolate, please." Clare smirked and took the money, putting it in her own wallet. She turned to leave before her mother added, "Oh, wait… who's Adam?"

"He's just a friend, Mom. I just haven't been hanging out with him as much as I used to, so we're trying to meet up more," she explained. Her mom nodded and kissed her forehead.

"I'm really happy you're hanging around people who make you so happy. You weren't nearly as happy last school year. You were happier at the beginning of this year, though… it was probably just the winter. Anyway, I'm rambling. You have fun." Clare smiled and nodded before turning around and frowning, heading out the door. She thought about the reason she was happier at the beginning of the year all the way to the restaurant.

Adam waved her down when she walked in, picking a table in the back corner. She sat in front of him, putting her bag next to her. He had already ordered drinks.

"I hope a regular soda is okay. I wasn't sure what you wanted," he told her.

"Oh, yea, that's fine. So, uh… what have you been up to?" she asked, avoiding any lulls.

"Not much. The usual. I had a couple drinks before you got here, though, so I'm gonna go locate a bathroom." Clare nodded, reaching into her bag and pulling out her book as he walked away. She was only a few words in before his greeting hit her ears.

"Hey." She looked up, well aware of who was sitting in front of her. Her lips pressed together. "Clare, please don't get mad at Adam. I put him up to it. He's just trying to help us out."

"I'm not mad at Adam. I think you know whom I'm irritated with," she snapped and put her book back in her bag, getting up. Eli's footsteps followed her as she left the building.

"Clare, wait!" he shouted after her, easily keeping up with her aggressive walking. "Clare!"

"What, Eli? I told you, unless you figured everything out, I have nothing to say!" she yelled back, successfully crossing the street. Eli appeared next to her.

"Clare, please!" She stopped and turned to look at him. His expression was desperate, his hands open and pleading.

"What?" Her voice was louder than she had intended. Softer, she repeated, "What?"

"Clare, I haven't figured whatever it is you wanted me to out yet, mainly because I have no idea what it could be, but I'm trying. I'm trying, okay? And that's more than I've done for pretty much anyone," he spoke, taking few breaths to get more words out.

"There's trying and there's doing, Eli. You broke my heart, yet you're only trying to put it back together. Hm, funny how that's working out, huh?" she retorted, beginning to walk away.

"Clare, can you just… ugh, Clare!" He grabbed her elbow, turning her around to face him. His hands gripped her arms delicately, allowing her to pull away whenever she wanted. She stood there, waiting.

He took a deep breath and began, "When I'm with you, everything is different. I'm me. Sure, I still show my sarcastic side, my mysterious side, my whatever-I-show-in-public side, but you see everything else that I don't show anyone.

"When I'm with you, I don't worry about how I dress or my hair or whatever. The way you look at me makes me feel like I look awesome no matter what, and I dig that. Even Eli Goldsworthy gets a little insecure sometimes, which you saw when I broke up with you.

"Clare-bear… I don't want to forget. I don't want to start over. I don't want to go back to being flirtatious, because I've wasted months pretending to do something I was happy with. Forgetting means I'd miss out on all the amazing moments I've had with you, and starting over and going back to being flirtatious means that I'll have to wait that much longer to make more of those instances with you, and I can't do that. I've waited since I realized I loved you to make those moments, but I stayed in denial about it so we didn't make as many moments as I would have liked to, but beggars can't be choo-"

"Wait, wait, wait," she interrupted, holding the crooks of his elbows. He stopped short, flustered. "You've waited since the moment you realized what?"

He blushed for the first time in the months they knew each other. Looking away and sighing, his eyes came back to meet hers and his hands cupped her face. She switched her grip to the outside of his elbows, thinking of her dream as he spoke, "That wasn't exactly how I wanted to tell you, but that's just how you affect me sometimes. I get so nervous, especially when it comes to conversations like these, and I can normally keep a firm grip on myself, but other times I just keep going and going and-"

"Eli! Get to the point!" she laughed. He smiled.

"Clare… I love you. I have for a while, but I was so… I can't even explain it."

She bit her lip and said, "I love you, too. Eli, that's all I wanted from you. Honest, sincere regards to what happened and to your feelings. I wanted to hear all of it, but on your own terms, which you did fantastically." She grinned.

He grinned back, both of them leaning slightly closer. She took half a step towards him, and he returned the favor. They were pressed together, noses lightly touching. His thumb caressed her check, his eyes searching hers. Ever so slightly, he leaned in, taking what seemed like an eternity.

Impatient, Clare scoffed and planted her lips on his. He smiled into the kiss and she smiled back. His hands moved past her shoulders to her waist and she switched hers to his shoulders. They stood on the sidewalk like this for a moment or two before pulling away. "So, does this mean… uh… are we… am I…" she stuttered, a bit flustered.

"Of course, Clare. You're still my English partner," he replied, smirking. She rolled her eyes. "Kidding. I don't tell just anyone that I love them and then share a kiss like that."

"I would hope so, but you saying it is a little different than knowing it," she said, her lips pouted and brows raised. He laughed and pecked her nose.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend, Clare?" She nodded. "Well, I would hope so, but you saying it is a little different than knowing it," he teased.

"Yes, Eli, I want to be your girlfriend," she said with false exasperation, smiling after.

"Awesome," he concluded, leaning in for another kiss. They stood together for a few more moments before walking back to The Dot, starting off their first day as an official couple.

* * *

_Reader,_

_See? Told you it was going to get better. :)_

_The next chapter is going to be a bit different. I'll post more about it in the actual chapter itself. Thanks for reading and reviewing, if you decide to. There will be an update soon._

_Sincerely, _

_youronlyexception  
_


	10. Chapter Ten

**Caution: This chapter contains content that may not be suitable for younger (perhaps younger than 16) readers. If you are at any point uncomfortable with the text, please exit. The content I am referring to will be preceded by a bold X. **

**I've noticed that the gaps I put in previous chapters did not show up (I do my editing in the word processor on my computer rather than the document manager, except for author's notes), so I will fix that and mark all gaps with a small, not bold x.  
**

* * *

_Chapter Ten: You are the only exception, and I'm on my way to believing._

Five years later…

Her stomach dropped when she finally saw her reflection. Alli and Darcy stood beside her, her mother tying the corset strings in the back. She sucked in, as her mother directed. Darcy and Alli giggled and twittered about how beautiful they thought she looked. Clare thoroughly examined herself, finding she had curves she didn't even know about.

"Mom, I think it's tight enough," she mumbled. Her mother's hands were hesitant, but they then tied the strings into a perfect bow. She joined her first daughter and her second daughter's best friend in their chatter about Clare, squealing occasionally. The words 'beautiful', 'lovely', 'amazing', and 'gorgeous' were among the most commonly spoken; she just could not believe she looked this good.

While they fumbled about her, preparing for the day, Clare took these few remotely quiet moments to herself. She cooperated with everything, but her mind was miles away.

She thought about the past five years, spent magnificently. She thought about learning how to drive in a hearse; finishing high school; moving into an apartment with a roommate; finishing college; Darcy's coming home; Alli's marriage, divorce, and then second marriage; Adam's reassignment surgery and newfound relationship; her parents' divorce and rekindling; everything. Most of the minute details escaped her, but there was one person she could remember almost every moment spent with. She smiled at the thought, coming back down to reality.

"Clare, doll, it's time!" Darcy shrieked, grinning. She faintly smiled back. Getting off the stepstool, she turned and followed Alli and Darcy.

x

Eli turned and looked in the mirror, straightening his jacket. His tie hung loosely from his neck, his shirt untucked. He looked pretty snappy, if he did say so himself. To his surprise, he didn't have to say it himself. The men around him chimed in that he looked sharp, one of them going as far as saying 'handsome'.

"Okay, Dad… 'handsome'? Really?" he taunted, smirking as he turned to his father. His dad gazed at him with pride, grinning.

"Oh, shut up. You know 'handsome' fits!" Adam piped up, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever. If I look handsome, then I must say that all of you look rather dapper yourselves," Eli stated in an English accent. The four shared a brief laugh, admiring themselves in their matching suits. Each in the quartet added final touches to their ensembles.

A knock on the door drew all four heads in that direction, Mrs. Edwards' head peeking around it. "Eli, it's time," she squealed. His stomach tightened and he gulped before forcing himself to move and follow her.

x

With her father at her side, Clare's mind was still abuzz with different things – mainly memories – as she followed her sister and best friend. As she got closer to the walkway, she felt queasy. A plethora of new thoughts chased away the old ones. All her fears ran through her brain: what if she tripped? What if she stuttered? What if she zoned so far out that she missed all her cues? What if she couldn't find her voice to answer when it was her turn? The piano began to play a slower, prettier version of the infamous tune, making that moment's biggest fear vomiting.

x

Eli fidgeted as he stood next to the priest. Pastor Davis smiled and shook his head at him, clapping him on the back. It took all he had in him not to falter under the weight of the older man's hand. His mouth was dry, and his heart raced. He could already feel himself starting to sweat. Attempting to ignore the previous nuisances, he focused on various things in his head: he recited the multiplication table; he sang the chorus to his current favorite song; he tried to remember if he had paid the rent that month. Even with every distraction he could muster, his stomach clenched when the music started playing. He watched as the procession came.

Darcy and Adam walked together first, Darcy being Clare's maid of honor, Adam being Eli's best man, and the two of them being a couple. Alli and Drew came next, followed by Clare's cousin, Lacey, as the flower girl. The knot that had been gone for five years nestled itself once again as the soft song turned into the infamous tune.

She walked by her father's lead, keeping a firm grip on his arm. The bouquet in her left hand was gripped in a fist; she bit the insides of her cheeks as her eyes darted all over the church, catching glimpses of everything. All of her nervous habits piled on top of one another while she padded down the aisle. They reached the end of their stroll, and she turned to her father.

He lifted her veil slightly and said, "I know I can see you perfectly fine through it, but it's the meaning of me lifting it that counts, right?" She nodded her head. He leaned down and kissed her cheek and put the netting back down, continuing, "You're all his now. I love you." He took a seat with her mother to the left. She turned to the front, finally seeing him.

Butterflies replaced the nausea she previously felt. He looked… so many words sprang to her mind. Gorgeous, wonderful, lovely, marvelous, beautiful; she couldn't find a word strong enough to describe how handsome he looked. Like both their fathers and his two friends, his suit was black. While their shirts were white, though, his was red. She smirked in remembrance of his insistence that he wear it; his shirt caused the color scheme of their wedding to be black, white, and red. Blushing down at the roses in her hands, she joined him by Pastor Davis.

x

The breath he had just pulled into his mouth caught in his throat as she finally came into view. She was absolutely ravishing: her auburn hair was pinned under a classic birdcage veil; her arms and shoulders were bare, and her dress was a simple white sweetheart-cut, corset-back dress with a pick-up gown, a ribbon separating the straight top from the ruffled bottom. He remembered so fluidly how she raged on about every detail of her perfect dress. His stomach loosened its knot as she took her place beside him.

They both turned to Pastor Davis as he cleared his throat. He began the ceremony by saying, "Now… before we get into the meat of this get-together, I feel the need to say something about the two young people before me.

"When I met Clare, she was just an infant. She was quiet and smart and very adorable. As most siblings do, she looked up to her sister, Darcy, and the two interacted as most siblings do." He chuckled, and the audience laughed back. "I watched her rise up from a baby to a child to a young lady and finally to the lovely – still young, might I add – woman that stands before you all. Her family grew up in this church, so I was thrilled to hear about her engagement. Naturally, I became involved in the plans shortly after the announcement was made.

"I had heard about this boy during her adolescence, mostly from her mother. According to her, he dressed in all black, drove a hearse, and often looked like he wanted to throw things at you," he laughed out, winking at Clare. Her face was flushed, but he continued, "But I didn't get the chance to meet him until the plans were being prepared. To my surprise, this boy dressed in all black, drove a hearse, and often looked like he wanted to throw things at you." Everyone laughed again, Pastor Davis further encouraging it with a frightened look. "Now, of course, I felt it was my duty, both as Clare's pastor and as someone who watched her grow up, to interrogate- I mean, get to know this boy she was so obviously enamoured of.

"Well, it took me ten seconds standing in the same room as these two to see that the feeling was completely mutual. I might even go as far as to say that he was more so enamoured of her than she was of him, but I'm not entirely sure that any one body could contain such emotion for, such attachment to another human being. The way they look at each other, the way they function so well together… oh, boy. I immediately agreed to marry them. Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew that this was right. I knew that they had such love for one another, even through the disagreements about certain arrangements, that they could be connected with one another in holy matrimony for the rest of their lives.

"And so we begin… Eli, repeat after me: I, Elijah James Goldsworthy-"

Eli spoke gently, his mouth still dry. "I, Elijah James Goldsworthy-"

"-take you, Clare Giselle Edwards-" Eli repeated what the man said. "-to be my wedded wife."

Smirking, he echoed, "-to be my wedded wife."

"To have and to hold, from this day forward-" He spoke again. "-for better, for worse- for richer, for poorer- in sickness or in health- to love and to cherish 'til death do us part. And, hereto, I pledge you my faithfulness." He gazed in Clare's eyes as he reiterated every word the man spoke at every available pause. Her brows knitted together and a small smile crept on her lips. "The ring, son," Pastor Davis said. Eli turned to Adam, who presented the ring. Holding her hand out, he took it in his and slowly slipped the band onto her finger. "Now, Clare… repeat after me: I, Clare Giselle Edwards-" began the pastor, going over the same words as before. She searched Eli's eyes as she recited the vows, his face blurring once the tears finally formed.

"… 'til death do us part, and, hereto, I pledge you my faithfulness." Adam handed her the other ring; she hurriedly pushed it onto her groom's finger, eager for the ceremony to be over.

"By the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife." Pastor Davis grinned, his hands on their shoulders. He turned to Eli and said, "You may now kiss the bride."

Eli's fingers delicately handled Clare's veil, lifting it over the back of her head. She felt her eyes prickle again. He smirked and cupped her face, his thumb catching a tear. All the muscles in her body tensed as he leaned in closer. Their eyes glanced over one another's face. Just as it happened for their first kiss, their noses grazed and she breathed out his name. In one swift movement, his lips were briefly on hers before he pulled away slowly, grinning down at her. She smiled back. As the church filled with applause, they turned and scurried down the aisle, hands grasped together.

x

The reception passed by quickly. All of the guests congratulated them, and everything was spectacular. Still, Clare couldn't help but wish that time would go by faster as she danced with numerous friends and relatives. Eli found himself hoping for the same thing.

As a way to save money, the two decided to stay in the hotel the reception was held at instead of going off to some island. A master suite awaited them at the end of the night; it sounded more and more appealing as the number of people in attendance trickled down to fewer and fewer. It was finally just Clare's parents, Eli's dad, the bridesmaids, and the groomsmen. After all the loose ends were tied up, this group began to disperse.

Darcy and Adam left first; they claimed tiredness, but it was obvious that the room they reserved was calling for them to have some one-on-one time. Mr. and Mrs. Edwards were next, and they really were tired. Clare's mother made a big deal about her baby being all grown up, but Clare handled it in stride. Eli called a taxi for his very intoxicated father; Clare worried that he would get himself in trouble, but her husband assured her that everything would be all right. Drew went with Mr. Goldsworthy to emphasize Eli's reassurance. It was finally down to Alli.

She strolled up to the newlyweds, smiling. "You know, I'm so glad you guys made it. I haven't met a couple more meant for each other," she sighed. The two rolled their eyes in turn, and the trio shared a short laugh. The little Indian girl wrapped her arms around her best friend, squeezing. She whispered in her ear, "You're so beautiful, Clare. Love you."

"Love you, too. Thanks," Clare murmured back.

Alli wrapped an arm around Eli's torso, mumbling, "Hurt her and I'll kill you."

"I love you, too, Alli," he muttered and felt her smile against his shoulder. She waved goodbye as she left, and the couple finally headed to their room.

**X**

Clare gasped slightly as Eli's fingertips brushed her bare back. He chuckled to himself, saying, "Don't be so jumpy. I'm almost done." She couldn't help but be jumpy. This situation had presented itself many times before, but they agreed to wait, and it was far easier to do so. Even when they first started living together, the tension was never this high. The dim, warm room and the tingle of his skin on hers didn't ease it. Her mind wandered to all the times before when they had come so close… She jumped again when she came to, his hands tapping at her elbows. "I need you to lift your arms up."

She did so and then realized what Eli was doing; by the time she figured out why he told her to lift her arms, he had already started lifting the gown up. Gulping, she ignored the butterflies and let him take it off. He set it aside with her veil and his suit jacket and tie, making sure to lay it down properly. Clare stood in the same position as before, only with her arms covering her chest.

He gazed at her from across the room. His stomach churned as he looked over her; she hadn't worn a bra, and her panties were form-fitting lace. He smirked at how out-of-character that was and walked towards her. She took a sharp breath when he placed his hands at her waist, his lips on the back of her neck. Leaning back into him, he smiled against her skin. His grip moved from her waist to her hips; his fingers edged into the only article of clothing she had on.

After lacing their fingers together, she whispered, "They were Alli's idea. She figured that, uh…" Clare's head clouded as he kissed from her shoulder to her neck. It was amazing how he could still do that to her after years of being together. "That, uhm… She thought you would like them."

"I do," Eli mumbled against her jaw. He took his hands from hers, beginning to unbutton his shirt. She turned around, finally facing him. Blushing, her hands fumbled with his belt. He slipped out of his dress shirt and dropped it on the floor, letting her unbutton and unzip his pants. She pulled them down and bit her lip. He smiled at her, like he had been doing all day, and guided her backwards to the bed.

Clare's mind was completely blank as she fell back onto the mattress. She felt like she had forgotten how to breathe; Eli gazed down at her, his eyes running over her body. He leaned down and placed a peck on her lips, trailing down to her collarbone. Her hands were at his neck, fingers lingering in his hair, and he picked her up by the hips to move her farther on the bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he hovered above her, his teeth working her neck. A small whine escaped her mouth as he pressed into her. He smiled against her throat and picked his head up to look at her.

"You okay?" he asked, smirking. Her mouth hung open a little as she nodded. Their lips connected for a moment before he pulled away again. "So, uh… do you want to…?" His tone was suggestive, that smirk tugging harder at the corner of his mouth.

It took her a few seconds to remember how to speak, but she finally said, "I'm a little scared. A lot nervous."

His expression changed to serious. "Why?"

"Because, what if… okay, I know we're both virgins, but you had so many more opportunities to experiment than I did, so what if I'm not, like… what if I'm not good?" She looked away, biting the insides of her cheeks.

He rolled his eyes and said, "Clare, don't be silly."

"I'm not being silly! What if I mess everything up and ruin the mood?" she questioned, raising her voice in her anxiety. He pressed his lips together and sighed. Her mouth morphed into a small pout.

"Clare, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. You are mine, I am yours, and I don't want that to ever change. We've been intimate before, and-"

"Not this intimate," she murmured. He rolled his eyes.

"No, not this intimate, but we've come very close, and you've never disappointed me once. I might have had more experience, but what you do comes naturally. No amount of intimacy with anyone else could have prepared me for what I have with you, so I don't really think you have anything to worry about."

She stared up at him, head cocked to one side, and softly asked, "Really?"

"Really. We just… we go together, Clare. I don't know how else to explain it." She smiled and reached up to peck his lips. He leaned back down to kiss her more deeply, going back to nipping at her skin.

"Eli?" she breathed. He hummed a response against her chest. "I want to." He stopped and looked up at her. She propped herself up on her elbows, unwrapping her legs from around him.

"Are you sure?" She smiled and nodded. He reached over to the bedside table and opened the drawer, pulling out a condom. She took it from him and read that it was ribbed and lubricated 'for her pleasure'. Smirking with a brow raised, she looked at him. "What? Alli suggests underwear, Adam suggests condoms. You can't tell me that it doesn't sound nice," he teased, taking it from her and holding it in his mouth.

"I didn't say that, now, did I?" she said with a suggestive tone of her own, arching her back so he could slip the last garment off more easily. His boxers joined the lace on the floor, and he ripped the package open with his teeth. Her fingers tousled his hair as he slipped it on.

Eli came up to meet her face, his hands on either side of it, and her legs locked around his waist again. "I love you," he whispered.

Clare smiled and mumbled back, "I love you." They pressed their lips together as he pushed into her. She turned her face away and gasped, her thighs pressing against his sides and her hands curling into fists in his hair.

He paused, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, yea. Initial pain. Just… give me a second." He waited as she collected herself, getting used to the feeling of him inside her. She nodded her head and breathed, "Okay, okay. It's okay." He moved very slowly out a bit, inching back in. Clare moved her arms under his and put her hands on his back. Her nails pressed into his ribs as her hips reached up to meet his, a rhythm beginning to form.

The discomfort she felt at first faded. Her body tensed in reaction to his movements; he thrust faster in response to her reaction. She arched her back again, nails digging deeper into his skin. He let out a moan into her ear and pressed his forehead into her shoulder. Biting her lip, she whined in her throat.

He groaned out her name, aware of how close he was to his climax. She moaned softly as a reply. Her nails went back to forming crescents in his back as she threw her head back into the mattress; he made quicker movements, brows knitted together.

With his face in the crook of her neck and her legs snaking tighter around his waist, Eli came and started to slow down. Clare's body relaxed after she too reached her peak, resting her hands at his sides and loosening the grip her legs had around him. They panted alternatively, heartbeats still racing and still sweating slightly, and he collapsed beside her. She looked over at him. He smiled and pecked her lips, getting up to dispose of the condom.

Eli returned to find her repositioned with her head on one of the pillows. She beckoned him beside her, and he obliged, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she nuzzled into his chest. They fell asleep together for the first time as a married couple, officially connected to one another in all the ways they ever wanted to be.

* * *

_Reader,_

_I hope that was a satisfactory ending. I apologize for any discomfort caused by the ending, but I felt I didn't write it in bad taste. _

_Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, if you decide to. So many people favorited this, so thank you, too. _

_I'm curious to know if any of you would be interested in reading another Degrassi fic from me. I have a few ideas, so just let me know if you would want to see it!_

_Sincerely,_

_youronlyexception  
_


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